In 2020, just as the pandemic was starting, I stepped away from a business I was building—even though it meant saying no to a big opportunity and work that I loved. Part of me felt like I was walking away from legacy work, and I was so scared that I would regret it forever.

Three years later, while hindsight has assured me I made the right decision, I have been surprised to find that I’m still grieving.

Take this moment, just this moment, for yourself.

This time of year, especially, it’s so easy to get wrapped up. You are tired. You are restless. There’s so much to do. There’s too much.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Meet God here. The One who is everywhere, always, is here with you now.

What am I feeling these days? Thankful? Hopeful? Trepidation?

After two and a half years of expertly (sometimes accidentally) avoiding COVID, it finally got us. It got us good. While we still mask in stores and have kept the family’s vaccine status on schedule, it took one weekend in a place with a low vaccination rate, where people tend to not even bother with tests if they’re sick and try their best to act like everything is normal, and we got it. The numbers are increasing yet again, but this time, mitigation is completely optional and often disregarded.

We long to live lives unmarked by grief.

A couple years ago, I had to make a big decision and I realized that it’s been a long time since I’ve felt a sense of agency over my life. I had been going about life resigned to God’s will, believing that I didn’t have choices and things would just go according to His plan. Whatever that was. And now, I was in a situation that relied on me choosing a path, neither of which were immediately desirable options. He knew that part, too.

I had to find comfort knowing God knew which way I would go, He had set the decision before me to make, and He would work out the rest. So I prayed, sought wise counsel (along with some extra therapy sessions), and made the best decision I could.

I know forgiveness is important for my heart, but sometimes I find I need to forgive someone again for an old hurt. Something might happen that takes me back to that pain, and I’m angry and devastated all over again.

Emerging research shows that the more precisely you can label an emotion, the easier it is to accept it and know how to handle them. This can help us become more compassionate, balanced people. Not in burying or powering through our emotions, but by naming them and feeling them fully, knowing they are temporary, and moving through to their end.

“Doing” Combative Praise isn’t a formula, but for the Type A personalities out there, I’ve come up with some helpful tips for the process. Remember, this is about being present to your body, thoughts, and emotions, and the following is simply meant to help guide your thoughts through the process. I like to start by reading a passage from the Bible that speaks to the moment, and then listening to some music to help shift my mindset to praise in the midst of those feelings.

My kids were never great sleepers. Add to that a disposition toward depression that also tended to trigger anxiety, and I was basically a wreck whenever the sleep thing wasn’t going well. I prayed all the time for better sleep, but I tried to accept slow days when I was sleep deprived (I still do).

“Grace and strength for today, Lord,” I would pray, “in your strength alone.”